I have watched Rebel musicians inside my community get excited about an idea, create a plan, and then lose all interest once the plan starts feeling like an obligation.
They may resist the accepted way of releasing music because everyone insists that is how it must be done. A detailed content calendar can make them want to stop posting altogether. Even a goal they chose for themselves may suddenly feel oppressive when someone asks when it will be finished.
At the same time, Rebels are often the women who see an approach no one else considered. They combine genres, question tired industry advice, create unusual fan experiences, and build music careers that look nothing like the standard model.
I may not always understand how they work, but I have learned that trying to force a Rebel into a rigid system usually does not end well.
This week, we are talking about the Rebel.
As a quick reminder, Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework looks at two kinds of expectations.
Outer expectations come from other people. A venue needs your promotional materials by Friday. Your producer is waiting for your vocal tracks. Your fans are expecting the livestream you announced.
Inner expectations are the promises you make to yourself. You plan to practice three times this week, finish your artist bio, send a fan email, or spend Saturday applying for grants.
The way we respond to those expectations places us into one of four tendencies:
Upholder
Questioner
Obliger
Rebel
​READ ABOUT THE UPHOLDER, THE QUESTIONER & THE OBLIGER HERE​
A Rebel tends to resist both outer and inner expectations.
That does not mean Rebels are lazy, unreliable, or incapable of commitment.
They care deeply about freedom, choice, and doing things in a way that feels true to who they are.
For musicians, this can be a tremendous strength.
Rebels are often the ones who question rules the rest of us follow without thinking. They may refuse to squeeze their music into a neat genre, promote themselves in a way that feels fake, or follow an industry path that was never designed for the life they want.
All of that sounds like music to my ears.
The challenge comes when every useful structure starts feeling like a cage.
A release plan becomes homework. A recurring fan email starts feeling like a demand. Even a schedule the Rebel created herself can produce the same internal response:
“You’re not the boss of me.”
Even when the boss is herself.
Traditional accountability can make this worse. A Rebel may hear, “Did you finish what you said you would do?” and immediately feel more interested in protecting her freedom than completing the task.
So how can an accountability group help someone who does not want to be held accountable in the traditional sense?
1. A group can help you make a choice instead of accepting an assignment
A Rebel is more likely to act when she feels that the decision belongs to her.
The group is not there to tell her that she must post three times a week, release a single by a particular date, or use the marketing platform everyone else prefers.
It can help her examine her options and choose what she wants to do.
Perhaps she has no interest in following a rigid content calendar. She may decide to create one thoughtful video this week about the experience behind her song.
She is still taking a specific action, but she is doing it because she chose it rather than because someone handed her another rule.
2. A group can connect the task to the artist you have chosen to be
Rebels are often strongly motivated by identity.
“I have to send a fan email” may create resistance.
“I am an artist who wants a real relationship with the people who care about my music” feels different.
Now the email is not a box she has been told to check. It is an expression of the kind of artist she wants to be.
An accountability group can help a Rebel make that connection. Instead of focusing only on whether she completed the task, the group can help her remember why she chose it and how it supports the music career she wants to create.
3. A group can offer perspective without policing you
Rebels may benefit from people who can give them honest information, reflect back what they are hearing, and allow them to decide what happens next.
A Rebel might say she wants to release an album this fall while continuing to avoid choosing a photographer, booking the remaining studio sessions, or contacting the musicians involved.
Her group can point out the natural consequence.
She is free not to make those decisions. She is also choosing to delay the album.
That is not a threat or a guilt trip. It gives her the information she needs to make a conscious choice.
She may decide the album should wait because another project has become more important. Or she may decide that no one, including her own resistance, is going to keep that album from being released.
BONUS: Rebels can be incredibly valuable to an accountability group
Rebels question rules that Upholders like me may follow long after they have stopped making sense.
They bring unusual ideas into the conversation and remind everyone that there is rarely only one correct way to build a music career.
A Rebel may look at another member’s overloaded plan and ask, “Why are you doing all of that?”
That question could help the entire group cut unnecessary tasks and concentrate on the work that will actually connect the musician with fans, finish the release, or book the show.
Starting in September (in just a few days), members of Female Musician Accelerator on the annual plan will have access to small accountability groups hand picked by me.
These groups are not being created to nag women or add more homework to their week. They are meant to provide encouragement, honest perspective, helpful ideas, and a place where each member can receive the kind of support that works for her.
You must be an annual Female Musician Accelerator member by August 31 to be matched into one of the new accountability groups.
You can learn more about FMA and the many benefits included with the annual membership (including this new perk not even on the page) below:
You do not need to stop being a Rebel. That independent streak may be one of your greatest strengths as an artist.
You may simply need a group that respects your freedom while helping you navigate which choices will get your music recorded, released, promoted, and heard.
Always in your corner,
​<3 Bree
PS: If you prefer to read FEM Friday on Substack, you can Subscribe Here​
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