What shifted things for me was not a pep talk.
It was a decision to act from the version of me who expects good things to happen.
That version of me is not over-explaining herself. She is not apologizing for taking their time. She know she offers value and assumes she belongs in the conversation.
That version of me is not arrogant. She still does the work. She just does not disqualify herself before anyone else gets the chance.
And it works...most of the time.
But here's the truth: that internal change alone is not enough to make confidence last.
Because the slumps come back. The gut punches may be lurking right around the corner.
We're not always on the upswing. And it's really easy for a small setback to spiral into a full-blown meltdown.
A gig booking unexpectedly falls through.
An Industry gatekeeper proclaims your music as "meh."
A studio bro disrespects you and dismisses your opinion.
Those are real circumstances we deal with weekly, if not daily. And if you are sitting alone with them, letting your feelings fester, they can take you out for weeks.
This is where most conversations about confidence go wrong.
They treat it like a personal discipline problem. Like if you just journaled more, or visualized harder, or believed in yourself enough, the doubt would stop coming.
It does not work that way. What actually works is having somewhere to bring the doubt immediately before it snowballs.
A group of women who understand the stakes. Who have released to crickets, gotten passed over by key venues, or received a passive-agressive comment from a person who was supposed to be in their corner.
A group of badass women who can say, based on years of combined experience, that of course that hurt, now here is how to keep it from being blown out of proportion.
Who can help you see setbacks as blips on the radar screen and give you the confidence to turn them into specks in the rearview mirror.
That is what I built the Female Musician Accelerator around.
Not just training. Not just coaching. A community where women are actively showing each other what's possible.
Some of them are a few steps ahead of you in certain areas. Some are right beside you. All of them are doing the same hard things.
I think of it as a fueling station for your confidence.
When you watch someone who looks like you, who has life responsibilities like yours, who started where you started, succeed at something you are trying to do, your brain cannot argue with it.
You are not being delusional when you picture yourself doing the same. You have actual evidence. You know real people it is working for, right now, in real time.
That is what makes confidence sustainable and dare I say, unstoppable.
Not that it never gets shaken. But that when it takes a hit, you are not alone with it. You bring it to the group. You get the chance to throw a small pity party, get real empathy, and most importantly, soak in the encouragement to keep going.
You get perspective before you get too hasty and scrap everything. You get the kind of encouragement that actually holds weight because the people giving it have been exactly where you are.
You do not have to manufacture belief from nothing. You just have to stay close to people who are proving it is possible.
I've seen this happen over and over since I started the Female Musician Accelerator in 2015. Women who almost quit, who are now thriving.
That's probably why we have so many lifetime members. They know confidence building and a kick in the pants will never be a "nice to have". It's a must when you're building a music career..
If you've got loads of talent with little confidence, you will flame out fast.
Unstoppable confidence is the key to career longevity. Which is why I encourage you to check out the Female Musician Accelerator.
We can't wait to support you.
Always in your corner,
โ<3 Bree
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