Never mind that plenty of people had already told me they loved the album.
Never mind that I’d already been named Female Vocalist of the year in the Inland Empire Music Awards and even sung the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium.
That comment hit me right in the soft spot—the insecurity I already carried, quietly wondering if I was really good enough to be doing this.
Maybe you’ve been there too. Maybe a booker never replies, and you start to assume they think you're not worth their stage.
Maybe you see someone glance at their phone mid-set, and it throws off your whole performance because you assume they’re bored.
Maybe a friend gets an opportunity you wanted, and you wonder if there’s just something about you that people don’t like.
Rejection hurts. But it hurts more when it echoes something we’re already secretly telling ourselves.
Tara B and I talked about this on the podcast this week: how even after decades in music, we still run into these moments.
Tara told a story about singing at a farmer’s market and having a guy shout a request mid-song. She didn’t know the tune, and he literally walked away annoyed. Like she’d failed him.
It sounds ridiculous, right?
But those small jabs pile up. Especially when you're constantly putting yourself out there. Sending emails. Following up with venues. Asking for support. Sharing music online and hoping for feedback.
So how do you keep going?
For me, it comes down to one simple habit I started years ago.
I call it my “positivity bank.”
Every time I get a comment from a fan, a kind message from a student, a successful booking, a nice podcast review, anything that reinforces that what I do matters, I save it. I screenshot it. I write it down. I stick it on a corkboard or drop it into a folder.
Because the truth is, on any given day, your emotions will lie to you. They’ll latch onto the one bad thing and make it feel like the only thing.
But when you’ve got proof that people are connecting with your work, even if it’s just a few at first, you can remind yourself that you’re not crazy for pursuing this. You’re not wasting your time. You’re not alone.
And that’s also why I built my exclusive community for female musicians. Because I didn’t want other artists to go through these tough moments in isolation.
When you’re part of a community of women who’ve experienced the same “no’s,” the same doubts, the same awkward silences after you pour your heart out on stage, something shifts. Suddenly, rejection doesn’t feel so personal. It feels like part of the path.
And you stop spinning in circles and start building real resilience, with strategy and support.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of rejection lately, I just want you to know that your feelings are real, but they’re not the full story.
You’re not alone in this. You are not the only one who's had someone completely miss the point of what you’re trying to do. And you absolutely have something valuable to offer.
So take a minute. Revisit your past wins. Remember the lives you’ve touched.
And if you need a place where you can be seen and supported by others who get it, I hope you’ll consider joining us.
Right now during our 10 year anniversary special, you can try it out to see if it's right for you for just $1! (use coupon code 10YEARS)
Always in your corner,
<3 Bree