PROFITABLE MUSICIAN: FEM FRIDAY EDITION

November 7, 2025

Happy FEM Music Friday!

When my daughter was four, I tried to teach her piano. From the very beginning, it was a battle.

She had this fierce little streak of perfectionism, and if she couldn’t play a song exactly right, she didn’t want to play it at all.

Getting her to practice was harder than convincing our cat Nutmeg to take a bath.

The moment something sounded off, she’d slam her tiny hands down on the keys and declare that she was “terrible” and “never doing it again.”

As musicians, we know that no one gets good without first sounding bad. But she just couldn’t bear the thought of being an amateur. She hated the idea of not already knowing how to do something well. If she couldn't play it perfectly the first time, she wasn't doing it!

That resistance created a painful cycle. She couldn’t stand to sound imperfect, yet she wouldn’t practice enough to improve. It almost caused a serious rift between us, so I eventually backed off and let her give up piano.

Years later, when she was twelve, she told me she wanted to try piano again—but only if she could move the Clavinova into her own bedroom. She still couldn’t handle practicing where anyone might hear her make mistakes.

And honestly, I understood. Because as grown women, even seasoned artists, we do the same thing, especially when we're trying something new...

Perfectionism sneaks in like a thief.

It tells us that our worth depends on how our work looks, not how it feels. It makes everything harder than it needs to be.

You sit down to create and immediately start second-guessing every idea. You begin something and talk yourself out of finishing it. Even fun things start to feel like pressure.

The problem is, perfectionism doesn’t protect us. It paralyzes us.

It convinces us that messy drafts and half-baked songs are dangerous when in truth, they’re essential.

Every golden nugget is born out of a pile of “just okay” ideas. Every beautiful lyric starts as something awkward or cliché. Every masterpiece grows out of a mess.

But perfectionism tricks us into believing that the mess lowers our status as an artist, even when no one sees it.

We think that just creating something subpar means we are subpar. So we freeze up, polish endlessly, and stay stuck in the fantasy version of our artistry instead of living the real one.

I’ve learned that the only way through that paralysis is to make peace with the mess. To let yourself write the bad song, paint the derrivitive picture, and create the thing you might later cringe at.

Because if you never allow yourself to be a beginner again, you’ll never stumble your way into brilliance.

That’s why I love the idea of The Joy of Messy Creativity Virtual Retreat. It’s your permission slip to let go of “getting it right.” To follow your curiosity instead of your inner critic. To create something simply because you want to—not because it needs to be useful or impressive.

The best part? If you’re a perfectionist, you can keep your mess right where it feels safe—behind closed doors. No one else has to see it. But what matters is that you show up. Because when you do, you’ll find that the messiness isn’t something to fix. It’s part of the process. It’s where the real magic begins.

And in that same vain, I want to remind you about the 30-Day Songwriter with seasoned songwriting teacher Andrea Stolpe.

The 30-Day Songwriter gives you a system that helps you break the paralysis of perfectionism in your songwriting, and a community of people doing it with you who are also recovering from their own perfectionist tendencies.

Remember, the exclusive $150 end-of-year discount ends TONIGHT.

Click Here To Join 30-Day Songwriter Now

So let’s stop trying to be perfect artists and start being present ones. That’s where your joy comes back. That’s where the creative spark you’ve been missing finally shows up again...in the mess.

Always in your corner,
​<3 Bree

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You're reading the Profitable Musician Newsletter, FEM Friday Edition. This Friday newsletter is created for Female Artists & Advocates, and focuses on our mission to amplify quality music by Female Artists & Female-Fronted Bands in all genres and help them build a thriving music career and solid business. If you'd like to unsubscribe from FEM Fridays but still receive our regular Wednesday Profitable Musician Newsletter, click here and we'll note your preference.

ON THE PODCAST

In this episode, Tara Brueske & I dig into the necessity of follow-up in the music business and share strategies to overcome common mental blocks. Get practical tips to boost your confidence, improve your outreach, and ultimately land more opportunities.

• Why musicians often struggle with follow-up and how to reframe your mindset.
• The importance of persistence in booking gigs and the best ways to track your efforts.
• How to use email marketing effectively—including timing, angles, and resend strategies.
• Simple methods for gathering testimonials and leveraging them for future gigs.
• Actionable motivation for when you feel stuck or unmotivated to send that next follow-up.

WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE FEATURED TRACKS

Riley Way - Blame It On Blue Singer-songwriter Riley Way, based in Los Angeles, has recently finished her studies at USC's School of Dramatic Arts. She has released singles, collaborated with various musicians, and lent her vocals to the theme song for Mayans M.C., a spinoff of FX’s Sons of Anarchy, T.V. series. Riley has worked alongside acclaimed Grammy-winning and nominated artists, producers, and engineers in both live performances and studio sessions, including Creed Bratton (known for The Office and The Grassroots), Cat Power, John Doe, The Deductions, Dave Way, Dillon O’Brian, Dean Parks, Jim Cox, Billy Valentine, and Bob Thiele Jr. ​ Blame It On Blue Riley Way PREVIEW   ​ ​ Robyn Smith - Wildflower Robyn Smith is a singer/songwriter from Scotland. In 2021, she released her debut EP, Open Eyes, which received notable airplay on BBC Radio Scotland’s Iain Anderson Show and Another Country with Ricky Ross. Following this success, Robyn's EP, Muse, was celebrated at her sold out launch at Edinburgh’s renowned venue, The Voodoo Rooms, captivating both new listeners and dedicated fans. Stream her new single, “Wildflower" - a girlie, country-folk-pop bop . It's about self-acceptance and reconnecting with who you are. In a world that constantly pulls us in different directions, this song is a gentle reminder to slow down, breathe, and come back to yourself. ​ Wildflower Robyn Smith PREVIEW   ​ ​ Aimie Iris - Afraid Of The Dark Often described as 'the human equivalent of sunshine,' with a contagious positivity, Brighton based singer songwriter Aimee Iris writes honest, heartfelt lyrics that will fully immerse you in to her world. With influences such as Sara Bareilles and Ben Platt, Aimee creates a delicate acoustic pop, musical theatre fusion. ​ Afraid Of The Dark Aimee Iris PREVIEW   ​ ​ LISTEN TO THE WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE MUSIC PODCAST

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Bree Noble

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