And I say “we” because I get it.
I just turned 54, and honestly, half the time I have to stop and remember what number I am now. Once I hit 50, all those middle numbers started blending together.
I also get the appearance stuff. Tara and I even talked about gray hair and coloring our hair and how some women look beautiful with gray hair, but we are not quite there for ourselves yet. That is real life. I am not going to pretend aging does not come with feelings.
Your body changes. Your energy changes. The clothes you feel good wearing on stage might change. The shoes definitely change.
So no, I am not saying you should pretend aging is not real.
It is real.
But you do not need to apologize for it.
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us absorbed the message that women are supposed to age secretly. Especially in music. Especially if we still want to be visible.
And it is so interesting because we do not treat men that way.
The Rolling Stones can still be out there making records and performing, and people call them legends. But you might find yourself wondering if you need to explain why you still want to sing, write, record, perform, or build a fanbase after 40, 50, 60, or 70.
That is not okay with me.
Because here is what I see all the time in my community. Women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s are not done. Not even close.
And maybe you are finally at the point in your life where you have the courage, the clarity, or maybe just enough breathing room to say, “I still want this.”
Maybe your kids are older. Maybe you left a job. Maybe you went through a loss or a health scare or a birthday that made you ask, “Am I really going to keep putting this off?”
And then, right when that desire starts rising up again, shame tries to come in and say, “But isn’t it too late?”
No. It is not too late.
I actually think mature artists bring something to the stage and to their songs that younger artists simply cannot bring yet.
Life.
When you have lived through disappointment, reinvention, caregiving, loss, second chances, and seasons where music had to sit on the back burner, you do not sing the same way. You do not write the same way. And you have something totally unique to offer on stage because only YOU have walked in your shoes.
There is a depth of character there, and your audience feels that.
The people who are meant to connect with your music are not looking for a younger version of you. They are looking for THIS version of you, with all your baggage, your scars and your hard-earned triumphs.
So what if the very thing you have been trying to downplay is actually part of what makes your music connect?
What if your age is not the disclaimer?
What if it is part of the reason someone trusts you?
In today's world of AI clones and deep fakes, I believe we're experiencing a trust recession. So within such a skeptical society, your artistic maturity actually becomes an asset and advantage.
Now, I am not saying you have to make your age your whole brand. You do not have to talk about it constantly. You do not have to post about menopause or gray hair or second acts unless you want to.
This is not about forcing yourself to be vulnerable in a way that does not feel natural.
It is simply about noticing where you might be apologizing before anyone has even asked you to.
This week, look at one place where you present yourself as an artist. Your website bio, your Instagram profile, your booking email, or the next post you were planning to write.
Ask yourself, “Am I minimizing myself here?”
Are you making your music sound like a cute little side thing when you know it is much more than that? Are you trying to soften your dream so nobody else feels uncomfortable with it?
If so, change one sentence.
Instead of “I’m finally getting back into music after all these years,” maybe it becomes, “I’m building a music career that fits the life I have now.”
Because that is really what this is about. Not pretending to be younger or apologizing for the years you lived before this season.
Just showing up as the artist you are now.
And she is worth hearing.
Always in your corner,
<3 Bree
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