In my case, I started my music career at 31. So in many ways I grew as a mom and a music artist alongside each other.
I had never experienced one without the other. And in some ways, that was a gift.
I wasn’t someone who had to suddenly shift gears because I became a mom. I was already a mom. That meant from day one, I had to design a career that fit my life, not the other way around.
I learned quickly to book gigs that worked for family life. Late-night bar sets or last-minute travel offers weren’t in the cards, but instead of resenting that, I built a career around venues, conferences, and community events where families were welcome, where daytime or early evening shows were the norm.
I wasn’t giving something up; I was choosing something that made sense for me.
Motherhood also made me incredibly efficient. When your windows of creative time are short, maybe squeezed between school drop-offs or packed into nap time, you learn to use every moment. I stopped waiting for the perfect conditions to write or practice. I learned to work inside the chaos, not outside of it.
I can't tell you how many lyrics I finished writing or cover songs I learned while pushing my daughter in the stroller to preschool.
One of the sweetest surprises was realizing I had a built-in audience. My kids were (and still are) my most honest critics. Whether I was running through a set at home or rehearsing a new song, they would tell me if something didn’t land. They’d dance or frown or tell me outright, “That one’s kind of boring, Mom.” And while it stung sometimes, it kept me sharp and real.
Perhaps most importantly, having children gave me deep motivation. I wanted to be excellent, not just for myself, but because I knew my kids were watching. I wanted them to see a woman who didn’t give up on her dreams, who kept pushing through the hard stuff, who showed up, even when it was messy. I wanted them to know that pursuing art isn’t a frivolous extra; it’s part of living fully.
In the early years, I even brought them on the road with me. Those tours looked different - more like family adventures than what you see on rockumentaries. But they got me out there performing.
As they grew older and had more school and personal commitments, I adapted again: shorter trips, strategic planning, sometimes leaving them home with a grandparent or my husband.
Being a mom made me more thoughtful about the kinds of gigs I took, and that intentionality paid off.
Another unexpected joy was inviting my kids into the business side of my work. By the time they were eleven, they were helping me with social media posts, snapping photos, recording videos, even helping manage merch tables. They gained real work experience, and I got affordable, enthusiastic help (plus the cute factor always drew more people to the merch table:).
Just last week, I gave an employer reference for my oldest daughter, who landed her first “real” job after college. Watching her step confidently into the working world, I felt a little swell of pride knowing her earliest lessons in professionalism came, in part, from working alongside me.
Motherhood hasn’t just been a factor in my music career; it’s been a shaping force. It taught me to prioritize, to cut the noise, to work with what I have. It gave me stories to tell (like the time I left for a gig an hour away without an extra pair of pants for my 2 year old - I think you can guess where that story is going...).
So, to all the musician-mamas out there who wonder if it’s too hard or too late or too complicated — I want to tell you: you are already building something that is uniquely yours. You got this!
Happy Mother’s Day. Keep making your music, exactly the way only you can.
Always in your corner,
<3 Bree