PROFITABLE MUSICIAN: FEM FRIDAY EDITION

May 22, 2026

Happy FEM Music Friday!

There is something I want to say to my introverted performers.

You can love being on stage and still feel completely drained by everything around the performance. Those two things can live in the same person. And for a lot of musicians, they do.

The stage can actually feel like the easier part. You know what you are there to give. Even if you get nervous, there is a structure to it. You step up, you sing, you play, you tell the story, you lead the room.

Then the music ends. And suddenly there are a hundred little social moments to navigate:

The event planner wants to talk through payment while you are still coming down from the last song.

Someone from the audience wants to share a long personal story.

Another person has a question about your guitar, your lyrics, your next show, your family, your voice, your dress, your recording process, or whether you know their niece who also sings.

You are trying to be kind, but you are trying to pack up while trying to remember where you set your phone down.

You are grateful people want to connect with you. And at the same time, a part of your brain is longing to be sitting in the car in silence.

That does not make you ungrateful. It makes you an introvert who just gave a lot of energy...

I think performers can be especially hard on themselves about this because we assume that if we can get up in front of people, we should also be energized by every other people related part of the job.

But performing and mingling are not the same thing. Singing to a room of people is not the same as making open ended conversation while you are tired.

Leading an audience through a story is not the same as answering questions while wrapping cables and watching the venue staff stack chairs around you.

You may be deeply called to share your music and still need space afterward. You love your audience and yet you need to set a boundary that supports you.

You certainly crave fan connection. But, to save your sanity, you still need a system that keeps connection from turning into complete depletion.

It's not about being standoffish or "too cool for school". It's about being smart.

So let’s make this practical.

Before the show, give yourself a buffer if you possibly can. Arriving at the last second is stressful for almost everyone, but for introverts it can make the whole night feel harder because you never get a moment to settle your body and mind before you are expected to be “on.”

Even ten extra minutes can help. Sit in the car. Pray. Breathe.

Remind yourself what you are there to give.

After the show, create a simple plan before you are tired, because your tired brain will not make the clearest decisions.

You might say from the stage, “I would love to say hello. I’ll be at the merch table for about fifteen minutes after the show.”

That gives people a clear place to go, and it gives you a caring limit.

A QR code can help too. Put one on your merch table for your email list, your music, or your tip jar. That way someone can connect with you without needing a long conversation, and you are not depending on your social energy to do all the work.

You can also prepare a few kind phrases ahead of time:

“I need to finish packing up, but I’m really grateful you came tonight.”

“I’d love for you to join my email list so we can stay connected.”

Those little phrases are not fake or a "put off." They are true, and they help you stay warm without giving away every ounce of energy you have left.

And please, think about your recovery after the gig as part of the gig.

That may mean you don't schedule an early morning meeting after a late show. Or maybe it means you drive home without making phone calls to give your brain a rest and the gift of silence.

If you are performing a lot, these things become even more important. One show may not wipe you out. But three shows in a week, with travel, setup, sound check, small talk, event planners, merch, emails, social posts, and family responsibilities waiting at home, can absolutely catch up with you.

If you want to keep doing this for years, you have to learn how to care for the person you are and the things you need.

You don't have to apologize for being you and needing what you need. You just need to be honest about it.

So the next time you finish a show and feel that strange mix of joy, gratitude, and total exhaustion, be kind to yourself.

You gave a lot to the audience. Now you get to receive, to fill your tank back up with whatever does that for you.

If this is something you relate to, I think you’ll enjoy the full podcast episode where we talk more about performing, energy, age, confidence, and what it means to keep showing up as the artist you are now.

​Take a listen here​

Always in your corner,
​<3 Bree

PS: If you prefer to read FEM Friday on Substack, you can Subscribe Here​

You're reading the Profitable Musician Newsletter, FEM Friday Edition. This Friday newsletter is created for Female Artists & Advocates, and focuses on our mission to amplify quality music by Female Artists & Female-Fronted Bands in all genres and help them build a thriving music career and solid business. If you'd like to unsubscribe from FEM Fridays but still receive our regular Wednesday Profitable Musician Newsletter, click here and we'll note your preference.

ON THE PODCAST

Master the most essential skill for building a loyal fan base in today’s music industry. I break down why your personal narrative matters more than ever and how you can craft it intentionally.

• Why communicating your personal story is crucial for artists in the AI era
• How to avoid common pitfalls when sharing your narrative
• Building connection through everyday relatable details and not just dramatic stories
• Simple steps to brainstorm and organize your key life moments
• Setting boundaries on what to share and how to use your stories everywhere from interviews to social media

WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE FEATURED TRACKS

Janet Devlin - Workin’ For The Man Irish singer-songwriter Janet Devlin makes a defiant return with the powerful “Working For The Man,” a long-awaited fan favorite that pulses with a restless desire for independence. Born from reflections on the relentless “rat race” and the pressure to preserve one’s identity within an unforgiving system, the song was written over a decade ago and now finally steps into the light - its message as timely as ever. More than thirteen years later, “Working For The Man” receives its long-awaited official release, closing a chapter that began with a young songwriter, a rain-soaked afternoon, and a song that refused to fade. Working For The Man Janet Devlin PREVIEW   ​ Lenka - Sunshine Girl Australian singer-songwriter Lenka first gained recognition with the band Decoder Ring before launching a successful solo career marked by whimsical, heartfelt pop songs like “The Show” and “Everything at Once.” With multiple acclaimed albums, global tours, and millions of fans worldwide, Lenka’s music has become known for its uplifting honesty, emotional depth, and therapeutic sense of optimism. Sunshine Girl Lenka PREVIEW   ​ Alicia Rome - Let Him Lie Singer/Songwriter/Producer. Alicia Rome is a fully independent artist making emotionally driven pop country for people who feel everything but don’t always say it out loud. She is known for honest songwriting that feel more like a confession than a performance. Her music captures the quiet moments—heartbreak, clarity, and everything left unsaid. Alicia Rome is country with soul—blending raw storytelling with powerhouse vocals inspired by Trisha Yearwood, Carrie Underwood, Bonnie Raitt, Adele, Alicia Keys, and Aretha Franklin. Let Him Lie Alicia Rome PREVIEW   ​ LISTEN TO THE WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE MUSIC PODCAST

Bree Noble

Say "Hello' on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or Threads​

When You're Ready, here are 3 ways we can help you become a more Profitable Musician:

​Promote Your Music To 20K+ Listeners/month on Women Of Substance Music Podcast​

​FREE "39 Little-Known Streams of Income For Musicians" Guide​